Why Talking About Your Children During a Job Interview Is a Mistake

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Mother's Day is just around the corner, and while it's a time to celebrate being a Mom, just remember that a job interview isn't the time to talk about your children.

 


 
Some job interviews can be nerve-wracking and stressful, while others may feel like a comfortable conversation. The problem is, it's hard to know which one is better. When you are nervous and sweating, you run the risk of not presenting yourself as confidentially as you might have when you weren't put on the spot. When the interviewer is casual and makes you feel engaged, it becomes so easy to get just a little too relaxed and say things, without thinking, that might hurt your chances at landing the job.

This is a problem that seems to slip up women more often than men. During these more conversational interviews, one of the first questions asked is the “Tell me about yourself” gem. For many mothers, myself included, it's difficult to talk about who we are and our identity without talking about our children and/or spouse. This is almost always a mistake.

During the interview, try to keep your personal life out of the discussion entirely. When you feel a lull in the conversation and want to make small talk, attempt to talk about how you can meet the company's needs rather than how much energy it takes to juggle work and home life.
 
In some states, asking about your marital or family status is against the law, so most of the time, interviewers won't ask you about it. But, the law doesn't stop them from using the information you freely provided against you.

While you might feel, in the heat of the moment, that you are just sharing the trials of parenthood with the interviewer (who may be a parent themselves) in reality, the interviewer is listening to everything you say and using it to determine if you are a good fit for the job. After hearing your parenting nightmares and horror stories, they may question your ability to give 100 percent to the job.

The problem is that when trying to determine if the job is a good fit for you, you need to get an idea of how willing the company is to help you meet your family obligations as well as your professional one. If you can't ask, then how can you find out?

Here are some ways to find out if a company is family friendly:
 
  • Research the company – Visit their website and read the “About Us” page. Look for clues in the executive bios and in their mission statement. Many companies who have a reputation for being very family friendly tend to brag about it on their websites.
  • Know the laws in your state – Find out if your state has laws banning employment discrimination based on family status.
  • Ask about corporate policies – If you ask a general question about the corporate policies or community involvement projects, the odds are good that the interviewer will mention any family friendly policies as well, because typically those sorts of benefits are huge perks and are worth bragging about.

If you aren't able to find out anything about the company's attitude toward family, you might have to look for employees (preferably ones who are parents themselves) on social networking sites like Linkedin and ask them if, in their opinion, the company is family friendly. If you aren't pushy and don't delve into great detail, most people will be happy to give you their opinion.

 

When you are raising children, working for a company that supports your desire to give your best at both work and home can increase your job satisfaction tremendously and allow you to be more productive.

 

What do you think about family friendly workplaces? Let me know in the comments.

 

To all the mothers, Happy Mother's Day!

 

By Melissa Kennedy- Melissa is a 9 year blog veteran and a freelance writer for CSJobsBlog. Along with helping others find the job of their dreams, she enjoys computer geekery, raising a teenager, supporting her local library, writing about herself in the third person and working on her next novel.
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