Unemployment is High Because People Keep Blowing Their Job Interviews

Looking for a job is tough, especially if you are out of work entirely. But still, there are times when it helps to step back from the situation and have a good laugh. It may not help you solve the problem, but it can help release some stress.

Earlier this week, I ran across an article on The Onion, which is well known as a satire news site, that grabbed my attention immediately. The headline was “Report: Unemployment High Because People Keep Blowing Their Job Interviews” According to the article, a record 7 out of 10 people who are currently unemployed could have landed their dream job if only they had known where they see themselves in five years, had maintained eye contact and given firmer handshakes.

From the article-

"This economy will not recover until job candidates learn how to put their best foot forward," said Labor Secretary Hilda Solis, warning that even a small increase in stuttering among applicants who are asked to describe their weaknesses could cause the entire labor market to collapse. "If we're going to dig ourselves out of this mess, Americans need to stop wearing blue jeans to interviews, even if they're nice blue jeans, and even if that particular office happens to have a relaxed dress code."

Here are the other things that, according to the report, job seekers need to improve.

• Stop fiddling with their hair or faces

• Bring extra copies of their resume

• Start sending hand written thank you notes after the intereview

• Bring a notepad and pen

• Be prepared to answer questions about sports, the weather and personal hobbies

• Make sure your socks match

They do admit, however, that the statistic they used failed to include the 12 million or so who fail to make it to the interview due to formatting errors in their resumes, including not using bullet lists or writing too long of a cover letter.

And while the report was just humor, they do make some important points. All of the things they mention are things that you should do at your interview to make the best possible impression. But don't take it all too seriously, because ultimately, you probably aren't going to be rejected for a job just because you didn't use action verbs in your cover letter.

However if you still can't find a job, according to the Onion, you can take some solace in this quote from our President-

"My administration remains fully committed to putting citizens back to work by making sure they show up at least 15 minutes early to their interview and never badmouth a previous boss," said Obama, flanked by unemployed Americans during an address from the White House Rose Garden. "Our new 'Nail the Interview, Score the Job' initiative will help regular Americans like Paul and Tracy here remember that they should prep ahead of time by learning a few things about the company they want to work for."

Nail the Interview, Score the Job- I hope I can get in on the planning stage of the initiative!

By Melissa Kennedy- Melissa is a freelance writer and regular contributor to several websites and other publications, a volunteer, a full time mom and an active job seeker.