Funnies from the Field

Job interviewees can say (and write) the darndest things. While filling out a job application or answering questions at an interview, it is important that you pay attention, read or listen carefully, and ask questions if you do not fully understand a question – otherwise you could end up being the punch line of a humorous story like some of these I have discovered in reports from the field.

Back in the day when the applications had fields like name, social security and sex, one woman put "three times a week." I told her what we wanted was M or F for male or female. She replied, "Well, I did think it was kind of personal, but I need a job so I answered honestly."

At a catalog retail distribution center, a new hire was asked to fill out paperwork that included Equal Employment Opportunity Commission reporting information. On the ethnicity line, the employee wrote "Hillbilly."

We recently asked an applicant to give us an example of how he would cut and paste something in MS Word. We were trying to gauge his knowledge of the software. He replied, "Using scissors and glue." Next!

One of the questions we ask when interviewing someone is, "What brought you to our company?" By this we mean motivation. I had a guy look at me and answer, "Oh, I drove myself."

When asked “Why did you leave your last job?” – the candidate stated - “it sucked!”

Being literally honest may not be the best way to put things, for instance, when one candidate was asked “what are your biggest weaknesses?” he responded with “I can't concentrate for more than five minutes, hate all forms of authority and tend to fall asleep at my desk.”

“How do you get along with other?” – “Fine, if they stay out of my face!”

An interviewer asked a thought provoking question “Do you know how to drop an egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?” The reply came quickly, “Easy. Just drop the egg. Concrete floors are very hard so the floor will not crack!”

An interviewer asked what she thought was a mathematical question, but got a more logical answer than anticipated. Question: “If it took four men four hours to code a program, how long would it take eight men to code it?” Interviewee’s answer: “No time at all, the program is already there from when the four men coded it.”

Interviewer: “If you have three oranges and three apples in one hand and four oranges and four apples in the other hand, what would you have?” Response: “You have really huge hands.”

On the other hand, it could be that the interviewer decides to throw in some humor to lighten up the interview process, or maybe they are asked for a peek at your creative side. Here are some questions that have been reported as actually having been asked during an interview.

• If you were a t-shirt, what color would you be, and why?
• How does it make you feel knowing I hold your destiny in my hands?
• Working here is a lot like being on LSD. Know what I mean?
• What would be your first question to the people of Antartica?

So, be on the lookout for things that may confuse you into answering with silly comments as well as for times when an interviewer may seek to toss a loaded humorous question your way.